The Tragedy of Youth

I'm in denial.  Maybe, it's not all so much denial.  It could just be hope.  However, it is painfully hard to distinguish the difference between the two.  They are awfully similar, depending on the situation of course.

My best friend is moving and with everything that's in me I want to believe God will perform a most miraculous miracle and let her stay.

My life as of late has been a stream of movie moments.  You know what I mean?  Those moments that seem epically (epicly... whatever I don't even know if that is in fact a word so just humor me here) tragic, epically profound.  Those moments to me are awesome, however sad they may be.

So Bry, Andy, Aubrey, and myself are all sitting on and around the stage discussing this that and the other thing.  It's really uncomfortable, at least for me.  I don't do good in situations like that... I tense up and crawl inside myself.  

"We're going to have to move."

I started crying so hard.  I didn't want to, especially in front of Andy and Aubrey.  Bry's seen my cry before but not them.  I find nothing shameful in crying, it just felt so awkward.  So weird.  I couldn't keep it inside though, it came, it blew out, I was sobbing.  

I drove home that night on the highway.  I turned my radio off and just listened to the sound of the tires on the pavement, the sound of all the other cars and the wind.  I cried some more.  

My parents got home and I told my mom that Bry was going to have to move.  She cried with me.  We cried together until my head hurt so bad I thought I was going to throw up, so I went to bed.

Today driving to school I blasted this schwank song by Modest Mouse and took the long way around.  I don't know what the song is called cause it's on a CD mix, but I wish I could remember because it is like this awesome song that belongs on every soundtrack ever.

All of those moments, to me, seemed like they belonged in a movie.  I love movie moments.  I've had few in my life, but when they come around I'm just like... this moment belongs in some artsy weird indie film.  Speaking of weird artsy indie films, if you haven't seen the movie Kabluey, go rent it or get a pirated copy.  Ha, just kidding about the pirated copy.  It's such and awesome movie it deserves the 3 bucks it costs to rent it.  It's like... a really funny movie that starts developing into a really awesome heart felt story.  Lisa Kudrow... or however you spell it you know Phoebe from friends, is in it and she does and awesome job.  Watch it! and let me know what you think.