blasted chivalry

It's such a complex thing because in my mind I want men and women to be equal. Of course there are obvious things that make us total different beings, but all at once we are the same. I feel that chivalry denounces the equality. I do not need a man to pay for me, as I have my own money. While it's nice every once in a while, I see no need for it all the time, and in tern I think the woman should pay for her man too! Then, as I examine this, I see the flaws in my thinking, or the hypocrisy in my thinking perhaps. When a man pays for me to see a movie or whatever, I feel like he is treating me well. BLASTED! Money does not equal good treatment. Then when I go to a movie with a fella, that is just a friend, and he pays for me, is there a need to explain that this is not a date? For what reason? And if I were to pay for him would he feel the need to explain it is not a date, if he didn't see it as such? I feel if a fellow is always opening doors for me and chauffeuring me around then that ruins the equality! However, I do quite enjoy such treatment! In some sense, I do feel as if chivalry doesn't denounce equality, because women show men their love and affection in other ways. Quite frankly, I don't have any examples of that, but I know it's true. Women show love through quality time and men tend to show love through acts of affection, wooing his lovely lady by opening doors for her and paying for her and so on. It's awfully distressing to me at the moment because I seem unable to see the light of chivalry. Perhaps, it is because, I have grown up so independent. Well, I have grown up in a family that strives for independence anyways, and therefore I sought it for myself. Chivalry seems to be stripping me off that and I don't really like it! Here comes another counterpoint, God does not call us to be independent. This realization hit me like a hammer when my car broke down and I had to bum rides from my friends and family, which I wasn't bumming rides at all, I was accepting help from people that love me, and that is not at all a bad thing. So then, is chivalry accepting help? Is there light in chivalry as long as the woman is helping the man as well?