My birtday was SO AWESOME!!! Something that I have taken note of is that as you get older, biritdays seem to last all week long. Once you begin making new friends, keeping old friends, and growing closer to your family, a birtday is something that isn't limited to one day.
Wednesday was my birtday. I couldn't have asked for a better night for my birtday to land on because it was JV worship night! I'm often times blown away at the people God has blessed me with in my life. A birthday is a time I tend to really reflect on things like that. Of course it seems birtdays are always awesome, but this year my birthday was just a real time of reflection on what God has blessed me with in just this past year. At this time last year I was feeling rather lonely, awkward and out of place. I was working to become involved at Element church but often times feeling 100% ready to just dissappear, give up. I am SO happy that I stuck it out. Making friends takes time. Maybe not for everyone, but definately for me. I have to give credit to Bry. If she hadn't showed up at youth group I probably would have quit. Bry has such a never give up attitude and I admire her so much for that. Because God sent her to me I was able to keep going and make absolutely amazing friends like Andy, Aubrey, Tori, Morgan, Curtis, Heather, even Nate and Torin, McKenzie and everyone else in Fusion. They may be frustrating to talk to, and hard to understand, but I wouldn't doubt that I am too. I love them all and feel blessed to know them.
My birthday was just so special this year because I really thought about all of that. I was texting Bry and she asked me "did you find out yet?" I was like WHAT WHAT did I find what out? She was like, "oh I didn't mean to send that to you." Well courtesy of Jason Andy and Aubrey presented me with a birthday cake! I honestly started to tear up a little bit. When I told Bry she told me that that's what she meant when she texted me did you find out yet? I was like oh you are sneaky. Haha.
My parents got me two cards for my birthday this year. One was a heartfelt "we're so proud of you card." I do believe I teared up a little bit. The other was one of those awesome cards that plays music. It had a picture of a chicken on it playing an accordion. It said "IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!" Then when you opened it up it said "CELEBRATE ACCORDION-LY!" and it played the chicken song! I just smiled really big! It was 4:30 something in the morning and I busted a move. : )
The weather was also absolutely beautiful for my birthday.
We are starting small groups in Fusion. It's something I'm really looking forward to. I'm hoping to grow closer to everyone. We're going to read Wild Goose Chase since the rest of the church is going to be reading it for the new series. I read the first chapter today and found it to be incredible. Books like that always rekindle the passion in my heart for Nicaragua. It's so amazing to be passionate about something. You just feel like you could pour your WHOLE heart into it without any regrets. I'm so excited to be able to share the amazing experience with Bry this summer. She's going to love it!
I was telling Bry the other day how most of my friends are older than me, and off doing adventerous things for God. Sometimes I feel like I'm just stuck here and I can't do anything. She made an aweosme point. She said sometimes I feel that way to but then I think about the relationships I'm making here, and I think, I am doing something.
I am doing something here. The relationships I have made are a God send. And not even just with people at Element. The Marlow Family has been a huge blessing to me. I met them at Calvary Chapel, and honestly could have never fathomed that I would still be in touch with them. Amanda has been an amazing blessing to me as well. When she reached out to ME to be my friend I was blown away at her willingness to spend time with a little girl like myself. Although her parents are going to be in Tennesse I know Amanda and I will still keep in touch. I absolutely needed her friendship last year and she is one of the most beautiful women I know. I love talking with her because we can be silly and spontaneous, but we can be real and serious just as well. I can remember a time we went to Target and got large icees cause they were a dollar cheaper. We then found ourselves on a sugar high and we laughed and laughed in her car for at least an hour. We probably burned off those icees from all the laughter. I can also remember a time when I was struggling to fit in at Calvary anymore and Amanda just fit in like a puzzle piece. She was taking me home and talking about Jake and Steven and I was feeling so lonely. When she dropped me off she got out of her car and apologized and gave me a big hug. I cried on her shoulder. I know I will always have Amanda's "shoulder" to cry on.
Another awesome friend God has blessed me with is Kirstin. I've known that lady since kindergarten at least. We hang out but once a week maybe. She's just awesome though! We always have a blast and she laughs at my utter outrageousness and I laugh at her sometimes cinnical (... I don't know how to spell that word.) remarks. Her mom and my mom are friends too! Haha how crazy. I'm super stoked for her to come to Nicaragua this year because I know she'll love it too. I also know she'll be a HUGE contribution to the team. Kirstin is a hard worker.
"Once I moved about like the wind, now I surrender to you and that is all."
I think that quote does a good job in summing up the way a body feels when they are addicted to something. We all have our "addictions" sever or not and they are hard to lose. I am currently fasting from coffee because my back got really tight the other day and I haven't been able to release. It's better but it still hurts. Too much caffeine can cause joint and muscle pain. I wasn't so much getting my caffeine fix from coffee as from tea, so I haven't had any caffinated tea either. It's been a little tough but I need to form a healthier habbit with it. I don't believe I need to cut myself off from coffee completely. I think fasting from coffee will be a good thing to do when I'm really struggling spiritually. I'm on my sixth day without coffee and tea. I have 15 days to go!
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